Friday, October 1, 2010

One big twisted knot

Some days I wish I could be an atheist. After hitting wall after wall, when following God seems so futile, when my definition of 'good' has to be adjusted continuously--this is when the voice inside says 'Take my life back, do things my way, regain control!'

But having control is an illusion.  This morning I couldn't even control my hair, much less my feelings of happiness.  Even if I renounce my faith in God, my heart would still be one big twisted knot inside. Which atheists can say they are happy all the time?

Jim Elliott's words came opportunely just now: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

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