Monday, February 21, 2011

Jesus was a talker

Being a listener--the kind where you become a mere sounding board for others to pound their words into--is overrated. After years of practicing active listening, I've concluded that endlessly listening to someone share the same relational problem on 'repeat', where I can't give them advice, is a complete waste of time. People who only want a muted audience are typically self-absorbed; their problem may well originate from this narcissistic tendency to begin with. 

It sounds callous and uncaring--maybe that's why it took me so long to speak up--but it isn't. In all the accounts we read where Jesus deals with people, there isn't one single story where he listens endlessly without speaking into someone's life. Being a muted listener seldom helps anyone.

In contrast, a helpful friend should speak up, trying to break the loopy thought or behaviour of another. A good counselor should probably do the same--though the temptation to allow a patient's endless verbal avalanche may be too much, when one is paid by the hour to be a 'good listener' :).

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